grateful for Christ

For every good thing of God there are ten thousand counterfeits.  I will not attempt to list them.  Rather, I wish to speak of one that has come to my attention in recent weeks: false patience.

First of all, what is patience?  My definition: the willful state of bearing an undesirable circumstance in peace and trust.  False patience, then, is to perform some counterfeit version of this, while true patience is to fulfill the authentic meaning of patience.

We may find it easy to commend ourselves on how well we are bearing some particular situation.  We say, “Even if this should go on forever, I will be just fine.  How patient I am!  Oh, but at some point it would be nice if it ended.”  I would submit that this is the spirit of false patience in action.

False patience really does not mind much the trouble that it pretends to bear.  It confuses the fact that it would like to have the situation be resolved, if possible, with the heartfelt conviction of true patience which bears the situation gracefully only because there is a trustworthy promise that resolution will one day arrive.  True patience can’t stand the thought that its circumstances might never change.  It only weeps with patience because of the promise, “Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh” (Luke 6:21).  False patience doesn’t mind so much the circumstances; therefore it does not matter if it is resolved or not.

Due to this fact, false patience is an easy thing, and it is often pushed on others just as easily.  “Oh, you must simply trust God!  Be patient.  All is well though you cannot see it.  The sky is always blue above the clouds.  I, too, have been through many troubles, but God let me bear them with ease.”  Watch out!  Do not be careless with another’s suffering.  Don’t you know that “Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart” (Prov. 25:20)?  Instead, we are to “weep with those who weep.”  Was the most patient person in history (Jesus) at ease in the garden of Gethsemane?  No!  His sweat was like drops of blood!  Patience is not easy.

True patience is hard.  Patience wants resolution just as badly as the most impatient person on earth wants it.  The difference is that the patient person does not rush to speech or action in order to counter circumstances that have been decreed by God for our good.  The impatient man plots and schemes to find a solution.  Unfortunately, acting when we should be waiting on God only breaks things and causes greater trouble down the road.  Consider Abraham’s decision to sleep with Hagar in order to have a son.  Ishmael’s descendants are traditionally understood to have formed various people groups that were enemies of his other son Isaac’s (the promised son who eventually came around apart from Abraham’s efforts) descendants.  Not only that, but Abraham’s actions had painful personal consequences for him, his wife, Ishmael, and Hagar when they decided to part ways.  If Abraham had shown proper patience, he would not have taken matters into his own hands, because the time for him was not right, but he would still have longed for the birth of his son.  There is a time for our own efforts, but it is not during times of waiting.

False patience typically avoids making effort that should be made, because it is waiting for something that it is not supposed to be waiting for.  It sits around waiting for something to happen when it can act in a perfectly loving-to-God-and-others sort of way.  This, I think, is the way to tell the difference between times where we are truly supposed to be waiting and times that we are not.

True times of waiting leave us no room to act without sinning, breaking things, dishonoring God, or hurting ourselves or others.  If I cannot participate in the reconciliation of a relationship because the other person has explicitly cut me off, then I can only wait in patience on that matter.  God will eventually soften the other person’s heart (and, of course, change your own heart in the ways it needs to change), and then reconciliation will happen.  Until then, you will only violate your obligation to lovingly submit to the other’s will until the other person is ready to talk.

False times of waiting, as previously mentioned, have no constraining reason why we cannot be acting.  They are often rather arbitrary.  “I am not supposed to look for a job right now (though I need one badly).  Instead, I will wait for one to be dropped into my lap.”  Unless God has specifically told you to not to act, then you must receive your circumstances as God’s mandate to act.  And when God wants you to wait, you can usually see the obstacle that keeps your situation from being resolved.  For Abraham, the obstacle was either his or Sarah’s infertility.  There will actually be a real obstacle if you are truly to wait, I think.  Otherwise, you are probably just being lazy because you don’t care that much.

Mind you, this is all based on recent experience, so it might not be entirely true.  I think I have the Spirit on this, but I could have messed it up a little.  Thoughts?