grateful for Christ

There are countless ways to hurt in this world, and everybody has experienced their own flavor of pain.  When we have experienced or are currently experiencing a particular brand of ouch, we run the risk of invalidating the pain of others.

A person suffering from a physical ailment might not take a person seriously who suffers from something like depression or anxiety, assuming that physical pain is the only one that causes true misery.  I myself have been guilty of the opposite: thinking that my mental and emotional pain far outweighs a merely “external” physical condition.  Then I had nose surgery that completely clogged my sinuses and left me choking on blood, unable to talk, eat, or drink for several days.  Miserable.  In fact, I found myself doing it (looking down on somebody’s pain–not choking on blood just moments ago when I stumbled across a blog post written by a woman whose blog is about her infertility.  In an instant, the thought came to mind, “I wish all I had to deal with was infertility.  Why can’t she just go on with her life and trust that if she is meant to have a child, it will happen?”  Hypocrisy runs deep but can’t hide…

So, I guess all I am trying to say is to always take another person’s pain seriously.  Don’t invalidate their pain by trying to tell them something far worse that somebody else had to go through.  Comparison simply does not make things better.  Trust me, I’ve tried it on myself.  All I end up thinking about is how both me and that other person are miserable.

Jesus had a good approach, though it wasn’t exactly about suffering.  In the well-known story of busy Martha complaining to Jesus that Mary was just sitting at Jesus’ feet instead of helping out with the chores, the Lord did not merely rebuke Martha’s priorities.  Instead, He first validated her feelings by saying, “You are worried and upset about many things.”  Then He went on to gently correct her.

This calls for wisdom, because every case is different.  You can never go wrong by loving the person (see 1 Corinthians 13 for a good description of love).