Responsibility without anxiety
For a long time I thought that Christ’s command not to worry essentially implied that what humans call “responsibility,” God considers faithlessness. That is, if I am taking steps to bring about a practical end, and those steps are not explicitly directed by God in some way, then I must not be doing right. Through the hardest lesson of my life, I have learned otherwise. Now, I see responsibility as a gift from God meant to develop character and faith. It is not that God cannot provide for us if we are just sitting around waiting for Him all day; He can do anything, after all. And for some people, He exempts them from certain responsibilities and provides for their needs, according to His will and wisdom. For others (like me, apparently), He decides to give us responsibilities to work toward. But at the same time, He does not want it to be done as though He is not involved. This dynamic has, admittedly, been difficult for me to figure out, and I have been getting very anxious in the process. Specifically, I have been job-hunting since the beginning of July with not so much as an interview in return for my labor. How am I to fulfill the responsibilities God has given me without worrying?
For me, it seems that I must take the steps that I see, but without worrying if they will or will not pan out. This means that I will continue to do what I have been doing: applying for jobs that pay as much of a livable wage as possible and seem like I might actually qualify for them. Sometimes I get a little ambitious, but that’s okay, too. For instance, today I applied for an entry-level software development job. I personally know that I can do the work, but since I have no work experience in programming, how am I to prove it? I gave as many details as I could about the kind of skills I have, but who knows what will happen…
In the end, I have to remember that as long as I am being faithful to what God has given me (a job hunt and a thesis), He will work out the details. I have hope, even though I can feel the anxiety knocking at my door.
Posted: August 28th, 2008 under Personal.
Tags: anxiety, job, responsibility, worry
Comments
Comment from Susan Ward
Time October 3, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Hi,
God directed me to your blog tonight. I’ve read a few of your posts and will read more as time permits. Thank you for sharing your gift of words. I especially needed to read the ones about anxiety, job hunting, panhandlers, and communication. God is truly amazing when He speaks to me through other people like you. Blessings to you as you continue your path in life and in ministry.
Susan
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Mike Reply:
October 4th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Hi Susan,
It’s a huge encouragement to see God helping somebody through my ramblings! :) Thank you for commenting and letting me know.
May Christ’s grace and peace follow you at every moment, and may you always find yourself realizing in amazement that God has been there the whole time in every situation.
And as far as anxiety goes, I wonder why we get anxious over some things and not others. Few people worry about whether or not their favorite TV show will start. They know it will start at 8pm every Friday, and they have implicit trust in the TV network to provide the show at just the right time. Do we trust God less than a TV network? I often do. (Of course, the stakes aren’t very high in this example… If your favorite TV show fails to come on it’s a minor disappointment, but if you fail to make rent, the consequences are dire. That’s when it helps to realize how much God cares for you. His faithfulness will never fail. It is perfectly safe to sit still without ducking even when the sword is swinging toward your neck. God will surely stop the blade and you will wonder afterward why you should even have given it any thought to begin with.)
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Susan Ward Reply:
October 4th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Hi Mike,
Well said. I’ve been a Christian quite a long time, but oftentimes I need to be reminded that no matter what is happening in my life or what my circumstances are, God cares for me. I’ve been learning huge lessons the last few years about faith. Thanks for being a part of the things I’m learning.
Susan
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