grateful for Christ

Encouragement is a very, very good thing.  It can feed a person and give them the ability to keep going when all seems lost, but it must be done in the right spirit, with full sincerity; otherwise, it will fall to the ground, empty and deflated.  The wounded heart can sense the difference between genuine encouragement and flattery or a mere obligatory “Keep going, Tiger!  You can do it!”

Flattery is devoid of substance.  What it lacks in content it makes up for in superlatives and adjectives.  Indeed, he who flatters speaks only for his own benefit, to be seen as one who cares–a true insider, buddy-buddy till the end.  If not for selfishness and a desire to be seen and heard, flattery could take no hold.  And it is subtle.  Watch out, because it’s easy to substitute flattery, empty humor, and trite concern for real relationship.

The obligatory statements people make have a similar emptiness, though they tend to spring forth from good intentions.  People want to give one another encouragement, but for a variety of reasons they cannot give much more beyond a superficial statement.  These encouragements are often quite generic, applicable to nearly anybody in a similar situation:  “Good sermon today, pastor;” “I appreciate your help with this or that project;” etc.  These can have some effect, but it is nothing like what true encouragment, which comes from the Holy Spirit, can accomplish.

Real encouragement comes from deep places in our souls and overflows into actual words.  It just happens, and when it does, it rocks the recipient to his or her core.  This type of encouragment rarely elicits–indeed, perhaps it cannot–a superficial response, such as a passing, “Awww, thanks.”  Instead, it tends to leave us speechless, in tears, or quietly humbled and uplifted.  A prideful person cannot receive encouragement of this sort.  Pride receives only flattery.

As I mentioned a few paragraphs ago, encouragement of the good sort comes from the Holy Spirit.  Paul lists it as a spiritual gift (I sure hope the folks who claim spiritual gifts only happened in the “days of the apostles” never want to be encouraged!).  This is how it avoids the pitfalls of obligatory encouragement and flattery.  Without the Spirit, encouragement could never have the right effect on a person’s heart.  Indeed, it could not even break through the stony walls that the Spirit demolishes.

Pray that you might be able to encourage rightly.  When it comes, you will only be able to stop it with voluntary, conscious willpower–and it would be a terrible choice to make, for you would be denying the Holy Spirit in that moment.  Do not feel obligated in a situation to encourage if the Spirit does not bring it about.  God knows what the person needs, and if you do it on your own, it will not have a good effect anyway.  There will be a funny aftertaste both in your mouth and in the heart of the recipient, I suspect (unless, of course, you flatter yourself with how nice a person you were to encourage them, in which case you won’t notice the rottenness).